The Ayahuasca Experience
No words could ever fairly describe The ayahuasca experience. It's also very unique to each and every one, many times beyond words. But there are certainly some general concepts that I could try to describe.
First and foremost, Ayahuasca is a medicine, or as it's called down here in the jungle; The medicine (La medicina). The second name is simply The purge (la purga).
Those two names describes Ayahuasca pretty well.
La medicina is considered to be the mother of all healing plants, and can according to the shamans of the Amazon heal anything. And the purge is an essential part of how the medicine works, and the purge should definitely not be considered as a negative side effect as some would think.
Further, it’s a spiritual medicine. A spiritual doctor that works on every level of our being. On a physical level, a mental level and a spiritual level. In fact, it can reach the deepest levels of our soul and facilitate unio mystica.
Now what does this means?
I grew up in Sweden, a secular country where materialistic science a la Richard Dawkins has become the new religion. I grew up and was raised atheist, and anything that had to do with spirituality I rejected as jumbo dumbo or hippie hippie my whole life, until my initiation with Ayahuasca. (It was like I broke myself out of Plato's Cave.)
Hence I wasn’t looking for a spiritual medicine, I wasn’t looking for anything spiritual at all, at least so I thought. I was looking for healing. To heal my wounds, to heal my depression and anxiety, and to get healed from my social phobia that led me in to addictions.
After I had tried everything that I was recommended by the western medicine; antidepressants, anti anxiety pills, psychotherapy etc, I still thought that alcohol and street drugs was the most effective medicines, and while they could help me escape the pain for a brief moment, they also brought me deeper into the darkness.
At the rock bottom I decided to go to the jungle as a last resort. To heal, to become “normal”, to become a functional human being.
My very first ayahuasca ceremony, I experienced nothing. Nor the second. I was sure that the medicine wasn’t for me.
What I didn’t know, was that the medicine was already working inside me very much. Scanning my body, mind and spirit, and started to heal on a very subtle level. It further started to balance my energies beyond my understanding.
It had started to prepare me for the purge by dissolving the toxins in my body, and the negative thought patterns in my mind to reach my spirit.
On the third ayahuasca ceremony, I got to know what the purge is for the first time. The ayahuasca had dissolved enough, and it was time to release and let it go.
The purge comes in many forms, and pretty much everything is considered purge, even though people mostly talk about vomiting and diarrheas. I had them too, but also sweating, crying, shaking and heavy yawning. It was intense, and I felt intoxicated. I actually was, but not from the medicine, but intoxicated from my own toxins that had gotten dissolved from my tissues and was on the way out. I purged the parasites of my mind, the physical toxins from all the bad food and crap I had been putting into my body for so many years. And while there was some moments when I thought I couldn’t handle it, the medicine gave me precisely what I could handle, neither less nor more.
What felt like an eternity, lasted maybe about 30 minutes on the clock.
And when I woke up the day after with a smile, my body was light, there was no annoying chatter in my mind anymore. All those negative thoughts got left behind in the bucket. And with a smile, I acknowledged that I was no longer an atheist.
**I had forgiven those who hurt me, and I had forgiven myself. **
Mother ayahuasca had showed me why the things had to happen the way they did in my life, and that this was a new start. With a purer heart, a cleaner mind and a spirit.